Yesterday, I read THIS post. Go ahead, click over and read it – it’s worth a few moments of your time. If you’re a friend, especially a “best” friend to somebody, you’ll relate.
In this world of people not wanting to make commitments, not wanting to hurt feelings, not wanting to put forth effort, not wanting to get hurt, not wanting to be “all-in” – I feel we’ve lost much of the fullness of life that could be ours from pursuing friendship – and from choosing a very special friend to be our “best”.
Why are we deathly afraid of superlatives? There is something so safe and so reassuring in knowing that someone feels that your friendship is better, different from the rest. There is commitment, love, and loyalty nestled into those magic words. Think about it, what if your husband had said, “I love you honey, but I just love you like all the other girls in my life – will you marry me?” Um. Wouldn’t fly. You feel special, you love him, trust him, are so committed to him, because he chose you as best and made you his wife. There exists no societal judgement there, so why is it present in platonic relationships? The author described the virtues of such a friendship beautifully, but she also spells out the reality of the commitment that it is:
“Showing another human being that you care about them and that their happiness and presence in your life is important to you on a regular basis is, though it may sound obvious, a fairly big commitment in practice.”
I would add that nothing worth having comes without work, pain, and risk. – I get it. It’s scary – and there is always the chance that your feelings will not be reciprocated.
But the alternative? Life as an island. Guarding your heart from potential pain, perhaps, but in the process never experiencing the joy of being that shoulder to cry on, having someone you can turn to no matter what life sends your way, the “iron sharpening iron” that happens when two souls can be laid bare before one another.
Let’s all just hold hands and take the plunge together this week, shall we? Let’s intentionally pursue our friends for the next 7 days…show them we care, encourage their hearts, take the time to give of ourselves. Be open to jumping all in – not just be one who stands on the side of the pool and throws our friends the occasional floatie when they start to drown. Your friends need you. They need your active presence in their lives. You need them too (whether you realize it today or not).
Don’t be afraid…
(to be vulnerable, to take risks, to love, to have and to be, a “best”…)
And maybe one day, if you don’t already have it now, you will find that blessed someone who will tell you that you are different from all the others.
If you’ve made it this far without having read the article, HERE’S your last chance! Don’t miss it.
So now that you’ve heard the musings that the article stirred up in me…what are your reactions to it? Share your thoughts in the comments below! Let’s chat.
And speaking of friendship, have you signed up for the Fall Friendship Swap yet?