Yesterday, I read THIS post. Go ahead, click over and read it – it’s worth a few moments of your time. If you’re a friend, especially a “best” friend to somebody, you’ll relate.
In this world of people not wanting to make commitments, not wanting to hurt feelings, not wanting to put forth effort, not wanting to get hurt, not wanting to be “all-in” – I feel we’ve lost much of the fullness of life that could be ours from pursuing friendship – and from choosing a very special friend to be our “best”.
Why are we deathly afraid of superlatives? There is something so safe and so reassuring in knowing that someone feels that your friendship is better, different from the rest. There is commitment, love, and loyalty nestled into those magic words. Think about it, what if your husband had said, “I love you honey, but I just love you like all the other girls in my life – will you marry me?” Um. Wouldn’t fly. You feel special, you love him, trust him, are so committed to him, because he chose you as best and made you his wife. 
There exists no societal judgement there, so why is it present in platonic relationships? The author described the virtues of such a friendship beautifully, but she also spells out the reality of the commitment that it is:
“Showing another human being that you care about them and that their happiness and presence in your life is important to you on a regular basis is, though it may sound obvious, a fairly big commitment in practice.”
I would add that nothing worth having comes without work, pain, and risk. – I get it. It’s scary – and there is always the chance that your feelings will not be reciprocated.
But the alternative? Life as an island. Guarding your heart from potential pain, perhaps, but in the process never experiencing the joy of being that shoulder to cry on, having someone you can turn to no matter what life sends your way, the “iron sharpening iron” that happens when two souls can be laid bare before one another.
Let’s all just hold hands and take the plunge together this week, shall we? Let’s intentionally pursue our friends for the next 7 days…show them we care, encourage their hearts, take the time to give of ourselves. Be open to jumping all in – not just be one who stands on the side of the pool and throws our friends the occasional floatie when they start to drown. Your friends need you. They need your active presence in their lives. You need them too (whether you realize it today or not).
Don’t be afraid…
(to be vulnerable, to take risks, to love, to have and to be, a “best”…)
And maybe one day, if you don’t already have it now, you will find that blessed someone who will tell you that you are different from all the others.
If you’ve made it this far without having read the article, HERE’S your last chance! Don’t miss it.
So now that you’ve heard the musings that the article stirred up in me…what are your reactions to it? Share your thoughts in the comments below! Let’s chat.
And speaking of friendship, have you signed up for the Fall Friendship Swap yet?
I loved that article, but I also love where you ran with it too. It’s so true. Interestingly, I’ve never had a close group of girlfriends. You know, the girls from high school or college who remained together through dorms, church, hometown, or clubs. I’ve never been in one of those. I’ve been included better never been “one of them”. My closest girlfriends were never all in the same room until my wedding day, and they each loved hanging out with each other. My dad says it speaks to the fact that I don’t limit myself to one type of person and that I embrace everyone. (Isn’t he sweet?) Also, when I use the term “best friend,” I could be talking about any one of eight or nine people! And I mean it with each of them! I may not be THE best friend to each of them, but we both use the term “one of my best friends” often. I also never refer to my husband as my best friend. I think Husband is powerful term, not just a title. But now I’m probably getting too nit-picky, aren’t I?
Beautiful post, Kristin!
Thanks girl. I always love hearing your heart – so thank you for sharing your story! I love that your group of friends is diverse. I heard someone else describe those she was close to, as her “bouquet” of friends! All different, and beautiful, and unique. – Ya know, I don’t think I really refer to my husband as my best friend much either! No reason – but it seems to fall so short of what a husband is…
Hope you’re having a fabulous afternoon my dear! Thanks for stopping by
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I love this subject, you know this already.
My first reaction was feeling grateful. I’m grateful that I’ve been blessed with such relationships over these many years. Then I felt challenged; challenged to be a better friend and not allow insecurity to keep me from it. Nice article.
Thank you for sharing that LouAnne. There is no greater compliment (or encouragement to keep writing) than to hear that something I posted helped to inspire and challenge someone. You have made my heart smile today. I’m grateful!
Like Lindsay my best friends have always been wide spread and weren’t all in the same room until my wedding day. Today I have a group of girls who I hang out with and are some of my best friends, but also like Lindsay I can talk about my “best friends” and be referring to any one of 6-7 people. Some here in my city and others who live far away and we only get to see each other a couple of time a year. All still precious to my heart.
Blessed with the best of all worlds
. I know we’ve talked about the gift of friendship before Rach…a small slice of heaven in each and every one we are given.