You know, I was just thinking…isn’t it funny how the taste of pumpkin pie is still fresh on our tongues, and the list of things for which we gave thanks, the proclamation of how very blessed/rich we are, still echoes in our dining rooms on the advent of Black Friday? A day of greed. Of frenzy. Of excess. Of amazing deals -yes. But deals on things that generally qualify as purely accessory to our existence.
Now lest you immediately label me a scrooge, I love receiving gifts with the best of them! I also enjoy the buying, planning, and making of gifts. But in recent years, increasingly, it’s the spirit behind the gift that lingers in my heart well past December 25th. To know that someone loved me enough to put time, effort, and thought into a small token of that love is truly amazing.
But think with me a little deeper here… There is so much expectation surrounding the exchanging of gifts nowadays, isn’t there? People expect to receive exactly what they ask for (how selfish), expect to have a certain dollar amount spent on them (how greedy), expect to have a bigger pile of presents waiting for them than last year (how spoiled), expect to get the latest and greatest_________fill-n-the-blank: toy, game, gadget, electronic, purse, etc. (how presumptive), expect to receive a gift equal to what they give to you (how conditional). Where is the love in all of those expectations?
Yes, I know that some people do have the primary love language of “gifts”, but after taking a survey of the most meaningful gifts that people have received in their lifetime, it was overwhelmingly the gifts without a price tag that they cherished the most. If love can be bought with money – then it isn’t love. It’s pure selfishness.
Hear me: I’m not advocating the nixing of the beautiful tradition of exchanging gifts by any means… – I’m just encouraging you to stop, and take a moment to think this year, before plowing full steam ahead into the way things have always been done.
Give from your heart, not your pocketbook. If a gift causes you to go in debt, or stretches your budget further than it should wisely/safely go, you will always have a small place of resentment in your heart over the giving of that gift.- Instead of giving into peoples desire/demand for unnecessary excess, give them something with real meaning behind it. If you have friends or family who are strapped financially, relieve any stress that expectation-giving might be causing them by asking that they attend a free Christmas concert and catch dessert afterward with you at a coffee shop – assuring them that just getting to spend some quality time together during this season of hustle and bustle would be a wonderful gift to you.
And now perhaps you’re all wondering… “What qualifies as a meaningful gift”? Well, I’m hoping each of you will help compile a wonderful list of ideas in the comments below. Tell us about a meaningful gift that you’ve received, and what made it so special.
I’ll get the ball rolling: in high school, the girl who was to become the Maid of Honor in my wedding wrote a beautiful poem about friendship, typed it up, printed it out, and framed it with some pretty flowers she had carefully pressed along with a watercolor of two friends walking by the shore. It’s a gift I still cherish to this day…
Ok, now it’s your turn! Ready, set, go!
First, is that really your mantel? Because it looks just so amazing! Second, I agree our world tends to get so focused on consumerism, we forget what Christmas is about! I would say my favorite gift was a video my cousin Mary made me when I spent Christmas alone in New Zealand. She made a video of the whole family saying how much they missed me and wishing me a Merry Christmas, and I had instructions to watch it on Christmas day. Loved loved loved it.
Oh that’s a wonderful gift Sheila! Bet it meant sooooo much! Thanks for sharing it… – Oh, and no. That is not my mantel
. It’s one of the gorgeous mantels from Keswick Hall last year!
What a thoughtful post, Kristin… and so refreshing to read after reading about wish list after wish list in many other blogs. Like you, I do enjoy the tradition of exchanging gifts, and we’re only human in our wanting of things…but I agree that it’s important to take a step back and really think about what’s important. I don’t have a large budget by any means, being a full-time student, but I know I made my husband happy cooking a great meal and his favorite cake for our anniversary! I do love (both giving and receiving) handmade gifts or “experience gifts” as well. Ultimately, I think that it’s the gift of TIME that I cherish – that the person took the TIME to make something special, or that giving an “experience gift” lets us enjoy TIME together.
Yes, yes, yes. I’d choose time gifts over material gifts any day!!! As long as there were lots of pictures taken, so that the memories could be relived over and over
. Thanks for sharing Mia!
This year for our anniversary Devin got me a little bottle of chai tea perfume. I think it cost all of $6, but I love it. He thought about me and what I like and what would make me happy. Now every time I wear it (which is nearly every day) I think of him.
That is such a sweet and thoughtful gift! What a sweet and thoughtful husband
. And now I’m dying to know what chai tea perfume smells like!!!
As my nieces and nephew are all well into their 20s (and the rest of considerably older), my family stopped exchanging traditional gifts to each other. We now make donations for each person to his/her favorite charity. Not only is it stress free, but it seems to fit more with the spirit of the season. As for my friends, we try to coordinate dinners out together and the time spent together is the gift. While these changes in tradition may leave the bottom of my tree empty, I feel that they leave me full
That is a beautiful sentiment. I love how you said it may leave the bottom of the tree empty, but your heart is so full. Love it. Thanks for sharing what your family does with us Heather!
Such a true post! We all have to remember what the holidays are truly about…family & love.
The best (and most favourite) gift that I will cherish forever…and have actually been sharing on facebook for all of my friends and family – because it’s something to cherish all year long – is a calendar that my son made while in 2nd grade to give at Christmas. He drew all of the pictures for each month…and I couldn’t be a more proud mother!
I’ve also loved receiving photos…and I’m not talking the expensive professional pictures. Sometimes the not-so-posed/planned out photos, the ones that show the true person (blemishes and all) in the picture are the best kind. My sister-in-law presented me once with a scrapbook of pictures of my son…all of her time & the love was shown on every page…such a priceless gift!
What beautiful all-year-long kinds of gifts those were! Thank you so much for sharing them with us Ella-Lauren!